Faith, Trust and Pixie dust

2011-11-18T14:59:00.001+08:00

“It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by
how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.”
— Nelson Mandela

2011-10-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

We are not friends.
Neither are we strangers to one another.

I hope to see you again...

2011-08-20T01:55:00.000+08:00

Throughout the year,
we had learnt that we have a chance.
We learnt that we can win.
We learnt that we were the stronger team.

Unfortunately, we forgot to ask ourselves the main question in the game,
How do we win it? How do we take the chance?

We failed, but one thing that my ladies and i succeeded was coming in,
knowing that we have a chance and we fought for every point.
That was the aim for the team.

Like i said,
it was never about winning and losing.
It is about us coming in confident with what we have in ourselves
and keep fighting, especially when we are losing
and all of us had showed it.

Ladies, though we lost,
your performance had been admirable.
My girls who were once low self confident and timid
had played with so much bravery.
I thank you so much for that and
for not giving up in us, your team and yourself,
especially after the ups and downs during training.

Let's not have our losses as our final memories in RP Tennis IG,
but instead, remember on how we have come to this point,
on how we have grown throughout the years in this team as a player.
We were better prepared compared to the previous years.

I hope you have learnt something out of these matches.
I definitely did (:

To my Juniors, champion in the making,
2012 will be your turn.
Train hard.
Learn from our mistakes.
Trust the man we call Coach.
Trust your team mates,
and most importantly,
Trust yourself because You determine the player you want to be,
No one else.

It has been an awesome journey with the team.
Though we have many, many disagreements,
there are great memories that i shall keep with me.
Not only have i grown as a player, i have grown as a person as well
and they play a part in who i am today.

Another chapter of my life is coming to an end.

Thank you for the memories..

2011-08-11T12:07:00.003+08:00

"..What defines us is how well we rise after falling."

Oh Please do not be discourage by the losses my dear team mates.
Losing and failing is part of life.
What matters most is how we come back to put a better performance.
Let's embrace those losses and play better next week,
because one thing that we are not is bloody quitters.
We will still come down to court, with our head held high
and play the best tennis of our lives(:

2011-08-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

After my match against SP,

I thought to myself,

If I were to lose,

I would rather lose the game to the opponent than losing it to myself,

And if I were to win,

I want to win over myself than winning over my opponent.

Sadly, for my first match, I lost to myself rather than to her.

2011-04-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

They think with their eyes rather than their common sense.
- The Gaze

2011-03-14T20:32:00.002+08:00

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
— Mother Teresa

2010-11-10T14:20:00.000+08:00

i just need someone who will make me believe
that i will have a better tomorrow.

if you cant be that person,
all i need is a listening ear without being judged.

2010-09-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

2010-05-05T00:32:00.001+08:00

Are we really ready for this?
Are we united enough to handle more?

Whatever had happened to us,
will it happen to them?
Whatever had happened to the seniors,
will it happen to us?

I guess.. its up to everyone of us then.
We make the choices. We decide.

Threatened by change..

2010-03-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

Tat. Tat. Tat.
Have a break, have a Kitkat!

..we've been working like machines.
pack, and pack, and still packing.
they better collect those goodie bags with a smile
or else they'll get a big word like KANNASAI
smack on their face from Ref.
hhahahahhaha!

2010-03-22T17:47:00.002+08:00

check out the longest beard ever!
its 17.5 feet long!!!

its disgusting isnt it?
i wonder if the beard has ever been shampooed
and brushed. eew.
anyways, he made himself recognized by the world for this.
so i guess i have to admire him for that.

ohh do you know that
we cant hum while holding our nose closed?
lol! i didnt until i tried hahahahha!

2010-03-11T16:07:00.000+08:00

Your acting may work the first time but bear in mind,
hypocrites are never consistent.

and its already revealing.

2010-02-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

Reconizing our common ground,
our basic principle of humanity
>> Treat others like how you want to be treated..

“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your kinsfolk. Love your neighbour as yourself: I am the lord.”
- Torah (19:18)

“Do onto others as you would wish them do onto you.”
- Jesus -

“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
- Udana-Varga (5:18)

“This is the sum of duty: Do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.”
- Mahabharata 5:1517

“Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you.”
- Socrates -

“None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”
- Prophet Mohammed s.a.w -

**from a must watch documentary - Phase 3
Plus a must watch movie, My Name Is Khan.
Its really nice!

2010-02-05T10:43:00.001+08:00

What I lack, is what they gain,
but what I gain, is what they lack.

2010-01-25T00:31:00.008+08:00

My laptop, just recently, had to be sent to
Fujitsu Care Centre because the screen was unable
to display anything once it was switched on.
On the day when it died on me, i said to my faci,
"That's exactly why i hate machines.
It will die on you especially when you need it most!"
and that i most prefer papers. He then replied to me that
i would be killing the trees, killing the earth.
I gave a long thought about what he said
and had a discussion with one of my team members.

If using a pile of papers means killing the earth,
then using of amperes of electricity is not?
If using the resources for education means killing the earth,
then clearing off a big piece of land for Casinos and pubs,
clubs is not?

We emphasize on saving the earth
by not using more papers but use more electricity?
Babe, papers have been used in centuries AND
it CAN be recycled, but electricity? Batteries = Lithium?
Can they be recycled?
No, but we are relying on them EVEN MORE
after being told, "Save Electricity".

I'm not saying that either of them is right or wrong nor
we should not be bothered. It's just i feel that you are falling
to what the media said. Just because they show the statistics,
graphs etc you just have to believe them.
FYI, those are just excuses for those behind all these
to increase taxes and GSTs
so that they can have more money to invent more things
(which anofher FYI, they need even more resources)
to make MORE money!

Yes, maybe resources are lacking in time and
maybe we are overusing it but we have to admit,
we need them and that also for the RIGHT purpose!
I personally think that those big shots are the ones
misusing the resources (Oops!)
and making us face the consequences (double Oops!).
Gosh, think about where our taxes and GSTs have gone to (Ouch)

As for me, i admit, i don't do much of recycling
and sometimes i can be quite careless;
forgetting to switch off the switch, kept the water running
but i did and still do try my best to show that i care,
by keeping my environment clean
and keep unuse papers, cardboards as my art materials.
You dont have to completely change target of reliance
especially on something that have even worst consequences!

Then again, I am glad to know that there are people who cares
and tries to bring awareness in others, just like my faci.
Without them, i would never have reflect about this.

So, lets just try our best and do what we can.
Don't exaggerate like how the medias did.

2010-01-14T09:33:00.000+08:00

i am honestly not happy with how things are going right now.
it did not go how i want it to be.
then again when did it ever? shucks.

stick to your purpose and i promise you, you will do just fine.
i hope so. *sigh..

2010-01-11T15:35:00.001+08:00

2010-01-11T10:12:00.002+08:00

“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates

2009-12-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

left the place i use to call home..
moving on to a new location..

Nothing in this world is permanent.
Be it a person, thing or a place.
We are meant to move forward to adapt with changes.
Come and go.. that's what life is all about.
Think its unfair? Think again.
To me, it is a good way to teach us about appreciation.

2009-12-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

2009-12-09T01:07:00.003+08:00

i wanna know what turns you on
so i can be all that and more
i'd like to know what makes you cry
so i can be the one who makes you smile

tell me what i gotta do to please you
baby anything you say i'll do
cause i only wanna make you happy
at the bottom of my heart its true
- Joe (I Wanna Know)

i wish i could ask..
and i wish that he would tell..

2009-12-07T13:38:00.000+08:00

upset and disappointed yet thankful, and inspired.

i rather not get what my selfish mind wants
than forgetting who i am and the one who creates me.
i rather do things that is worth gaining
than things that delude me from the truth and understanding.
i rather have a friend like her than those who thinks they know everything
because with a friend like her i learn, understand and reflect.

2009-12-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

i tried and still trying to let go,
but it seems impossible.
i stick by it but i'm losing out.

i am so confuse.
i am afraid of getting what i want. lol.
well then, lets not ask for anything.
it seems like nature knows best better than me for my own need.

2009-11-23T18:23:00.001+08:00

just when i entered the test room,
i was sent all the way to the end
to that one corner on my right.
i went up to my sit,
between an empty chair and a wall.
the rest of the candidates were sitting side by side
at the other rows. my row? only me.
i swear i felt almost as if a nanny just scolded me
and i was asked to sit at one spot and reflect what i have done.
loner laa seyy!

then, while i was dreaming, some guy sat beside me.
i was about to ask, "What did you do?" lol.

anyways, Final Theory is over I PASS!

2009-11-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

i asked and prayed
but it never seems to come true.
is it because i do not need it
or because i do not deserve it?

trust and faith.
now where the hell is Tinkerbell
when i need that pixie dust?? lol.

2009-11-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

three points,

-WATCH YOUR DIET!
-Start with the right mindset.
-And please, all the way to the last point, Dhiya!

every week,
your performance will always be affected
by factors that are beyond your control.
thats the point of all this.
to train yourself NOT to let it get you.

and one more thing.
can you please stop pressurizing yourself??
let loose! and.. just have fun :)

being competitive is good
but with yourself! reasonably though.
not with your own friends, relatives, even team mates.
consequences: Demoralize.
and that will make you one unhappy lady.

i better keep this in mind.

2009-11-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

maybe, to be able to gain trust is by
putting my trust in others first?
wah kao. i tell you,
that will take years! lol.

2009-11-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

i cried today.
i cried so hard
to the impossibilities,
the negativities,
the fact..
that i'm facing.

though i know,
if i just wait a lil longer
things will be fine.

2009-11-19T12:05:00.002+08:00

clearly, i am not as important.
fine. i get it.

why do i always let it get me?
fuck it dhiya. just fuck it.

2009-11-19T08:56:00.000+08:00

you've promised yourself to buck up,
and what the hell are you giving me now?
you're really gonna mess it up if this continues.

i am so piss off with myself.

2009-11-15T13:13:00.001+08:00

to change,
is to listen.
from whoever, whatever,
no matter how bad it sounds,
take it in slow and do whatever it takes to change to the better.

we may not agree to it
we may think that they're just the same,
but if talking about improving oneself
why not pull it in?

one step at a time..
dedicate this to my sister whom i care and love.

2009-11-14T21:58:00.002+08:00

syurga cinta.. love from heaven..

2009-11-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

soulmate. what does soulmate really mean
and who really is our soulmate?

my mum pointed this point out
and it really got me thinking..
hahah.

2009-11-10T20:15:00.002+08:00

i had a long nice chat with mama last night.
it was nice to finally pour out my feelings
that i've been having these days,
but when it came to her turn,
my eyelids got heavier and heavier that in a matter of seconds,
i could see images of my dream came floating in.
haahahah!

2009-11-09T10:45:00.001+08:00

its a brand new week
and i'm not head banging in class haaha.
chatting the whole period w my team mates.
what the hell.

we're going through tough time now.
but one thing for sure,
we're gonna go through this thing together
and wont let some immatures get into our way.

is potato even a veggie?? lol.

2009-11-05T09:28:00.004+08:00

sitting on the chair of wheels,
with my laptop down at 45 degrees.
set my eyes on the whiteboard,
wow i'm giving such good impression.
however, don't be deceive my dear faci,
just because i nod to every word you said,
for my mind was busily engrossed
in correcting my game of tennis.

hahahha!
uurgh. all these love songs really got
me turn into one emoshit. -.-"

2009-11-03T11:56:00.001+08:00

i didnt attend my favourite
lesson out of all modules, Math
due to last night outing:

went out with my big family
to changi where Abang Fatul
held his wedding ceremony at.
their Ayam masak Merah is so the ENAK!
though the spice tak leh handle babe.

before going home,
we visit our well known mustaffa
which is 24/7 awake. haha!
there, i witnessed
the different brands and flavours
of chocs! temptation is under control.
ahhaa.

had prata and longan.
i vow not to have plain prata
there ever again. seriously.

i didnt talk much to my cousins
from jakarta. i seriously have no clue
what to talk about and the fact that i don't
speak indonesia. i should really start
practicing that language.
that's my mother tongue for fuck sake.

2009-10-31T00:42:00.000+08:00

imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

haha. i have yet to understand why he would say this.

2009-10-28T23:45:00.003+08:00

i had math
and i was famished.
i had mutton chop
and i was so full!
then i saw him..
and i said "fuck."-_-

i forgot that he got no clue of who i am
and for a second i thought i was
gonna get caught red-handed,
so i slowed down with my eyes terbeliak (at him).
ish. imagine seeing someone you don't know showing that face to you.
"Psycho", you would say.

cyber buddy..
i like that (=

2009-10-22T12:10:00.000+08:00

they say that differences bring ones closer,
but how long can they last?

the only person that can help is our inner self..
Oh god. help.

2009-10-18T14:09:00.001+08:00

Ride the Night was an undescribable experience i had.
there were ups and downs throughout the journey.
what made it more unforgettable is that
Ms.Refree was there to experience it with me, Fizah!
ahhaha.

the ride did make me realize
that i am more of a solo kind of person
i focus better when i work alone.
i don't know whether its a good thing or not.
but what i do know is that that doesnt make
the things i do fun at all.

greatest thing out of all
is that we make new friends!
Willax, Nicholas, Kenneth or was it Kevin?
and a malay girl who i forgot the name too. hee
she was in the same class as Jasmine! hahaa.

2009-10-13T10:20:00.002+08:00

my adapter was dropped into the cubicle -_-"
and i'm using papa's lappy with its crazy mix up keyboards.

"aiyah

why you take your lost as a defeat ?
must take a lost as an oppurtunity for you to improve tao" - vainpot
thanks pasu. =))

the tingling feeling has return.
from the same someone who i thought i fell in love with.
i'm surrounded by butterflies and dragonflies,
and the sweet smell of Secret Garden is making me feel ooh lala!
hahahaa

2009-10-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

...
i've been fiddling with my keyboard for the past few days
thinking what the hell to post.
since the last post i have no idea what to update.
all i've been thinking about is how to improve
my forehand and backhand. shucks.
they still suck till now.
school training, outside training,
i still couldn't do cross court and down the line.
sucks sucks sucks.

urggh. i need to get my mind off tennis.
thats why i've been watching alot of bollywood movies.
HEE! i still cried during the sad scenes,
and laughed to the same jokes! haahah.

every pain we go through is an improvement to our lives.
embrace it, cherish it, to learn and to gain strength from it.
Life's Good ((=

2009-09-26T13:01:00.005+08:00

this cub is so cute!!

Animal Planet suddenly fascinates me alot.

2009-09-21T14:12:00.004+08:00

the first day of hari raya was splendid!
magical moments. the joyful atmosphere,
the colourful sight, the wonderful and meaningful speeches
done by mama's brothers.
we finally had a proper gathering after 2 years.
sharing of laughters and tears was how we celebrated.
after all, that's what hari raya is all about isnt it?
sharing.

2009-09-17T02:49:00.002+08:00

You can achieve anything in life, but only if you really want it, and do it for the right reason.. -June Welford

2009-09-11T10:12:00.001+08:00

words can be demoralizing.
they could sound as if you've just receive a smack on your face.
though its up to us to choose how to see it.
smack on the face to fire us up or..
smack on the face as a sign to quit.

i am so disappointed with myself
though its over i still feel the embarrassment.
everybody was as tired and as in pain in the leg as i was,
then why stopped?

2009-09-09T16:10:00.004+08:00

imagine your home being attack.
imagine your dream being shattered to pieces
imagine your brothers and sisters, your neighbours being
cruelly killed, totured
imagine the young ones witnessing a man
with a machine gun pointing at people
imagine them learning hatred at such a young age!
imagine the adults doing things that we've been told
and taught not to ever do

imagine imagine.
imagination to us but real experience for them..

a scream from one girl speaks for all..

still despite of all the sufferings,
i admire their determination and strengths, patience
especially from the children. they still manage a smile
apart from all the destructions they've seen.
this is one hell of a lesson i got for the day.

my prayer goes to them.

2009-09-07T23:05:00.001+08:00

"Those who don’t know, may not know that they don’t know. These are innocent children. Nurture them and encourage them.

There are those who don’t know, knows that they don’t know. They’re willing, teach them.

There are those who don’t know however think that they know. Those are dangerous, avoid them.

Then there are those who know and don’t know that they know. Those are asleep. Wake them.

Then there are also those who know and who know that they know. Do not follow them because if they know that they know, they would not have you follow them but listen very carefully to what they have to tell you because they might just say something that reminds you of what you already know."

shared by Neale Donald Walsch

2009-09-04T01:04:00.004+08:00

Dhiya Nazura Andin is officially
an 18 year old young lady. hah!
please note that age is just a number
and that the only difference is how much wiser
i have grown and how much knowledge i've gain
throughout the years. wakakakak!

so yes.
"..act like an 18 year old"
what does that mean??
is there some sort of a theory??
khaa! you ppl are worrying too much.
i'm a natural. ahhaaah!

ok i shall stop crapping about being 18.

...
ok i dun really have a speech about being 18
but to those who wished me, cousins, close friends, old friends!
thank you so much.
the lil thoughtful wishes actually stretched my lips so wide up
to my ears! again, thank you.
and for those whom i just knew this year,
my tennis peeps and especially that little small immature boy,
i mostly didnt expect him to remember but yeah
your rubbish made me laugh, you lil sucker. ahahha.
thanks for the wishes!
you guys rock my lil simple, yet complicated, world..

oh! guess what i get myself for being 18??
baking myself a Chocolate Sour Cream cake
and Lemon Poset . cheeyy!
made me sound like some professional French chef.
how bout that?? ahha! i'm psych!

2009-09-03T09:13:00.000+08:00

i've done too much thinking,
too much wondering..
i should learn to just go with the flow..
stop hoping, stop searching.

the time will come..
ye need a little faith.

2009-09-02T01:10:00.001+08:00

i wonder where you are,
and i wonder what you do..
are you laying in bed
wondering the same thing?
..feeling as lonely as i am?

2009-09-01T03:54:00.000+08:00

31 Aug 09.
Barbeque Night at LC's place.
To gather at Somerset MRT station
at exactly 5pm. pssh.
guess where was i at that time?..
snoring my ass off on my comfy bed.
kahkahakh! shit seyy (=
i ended up reaching there at 8pm
and had to break my fast late.
kheesh.

i'll update about it more soon aye.
its already dawn and mum's awake.
darn.

2009-08-29T22:52:00.001+08:00

i went for a lil grocery shopping
with my dearest aunt in the afternoon,
and omg. i felt so exhausted!
i could feel the tideness of my butt,
the emptiness of my growling stomach
and the giddiness of my head!
shit. i needed a rest but i still
need to help with the cooking for break fast.

never in my life have i cook meal
for more than 1 and half hour.
it took us 3 hours to complete
fried pasta(main dish), chicken soup(for the kids),
asam pedas(meal at dawn),
mee bandung(for grandpapa) and goreng pisang.
well, it was considered the fastest timing to me.
i mean, 5 dishes in a day?? whoa.
Uda betol betol nyer fast game babe. hahaaa

overall, i had the best meal of this year's Ramadhan.
nothing can be more appetizing than having a meal
together with your family and your favourite relatives, right (=

2009-08-28T23:09:00.002+08:00

holidays = chores.
god. dhiya has no life.
out of a blue, the sense of nonstop boredom
just come floating in like nobody's business..
i'm gonna do alot of sighing till school reopen.
luckily, there's no change with the tennis schedule
except that, tues will be starting in the day instead of night.
fasting. tanning. *sigh.

oh well..
atleast there's one thing i'm looking forward to!
31st Aug 09, LC's House at 5pm.
woohoo!

oh! not to forget,
30th Aug, 0015
Arsenal vs ManU.
can't wait to make fun of the ManU fans.
cheyy! confident seyy. kahkah.
skali. the other way round. paisey. paisey.

2009-08-25T23:51:00.006+08:00

ever been on a car in the lift? i have!
and it was hilarious watching my 2 cousins
jakoning over it. they acted as if they
were in the roller coaster!
i couldnt help laughing about it.
you should've seen their faces!
haahah! it was a fun experience alright,
although it last only for a minute.
*Doink -_-"

i learnt volley this evening!
ahaha. did alright i guess..

i'm exhausted but don't feel
like heading to bed.
i'm in love with twitter.
i never get my eyes off that page.
ok thats exaggerating but seriously
i will never close the page till i wish to switch
off my lappy. its addictive i tell you.

2009-08-25T09:05:00.000+08:00

i should really stop smiling to myself,
it just gonna ruin everything..

2009-08-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

i've stepped up to another level..
and then what??
gosh Dhiya..

this sucks.
i can never have that courage
can i?

2009-08-21T01:09:00.003+08:00

i finally got what i wanted..
feedbacks from coach.
and i realized i had not been
hitting the balls the right way..
all this while, i've been practicing very hard,
trying to do it the correct way
(siap imagine becoming like maria sharapova lagi!),
came to know, my body rotation was all wrong.
*Doink -_-"

tonight marks the night,
when dhiya finally step up to another level.
heheh.

2009-08-19T18:13:00.008+08:00

wow.
this morning i made a cool(Not.) entrance
for my UT3 - Enterprise Skills.
i was the only human being of class W14D
who was late for it, almost to 15mins after
they already started. and note that after 15 mins,
i am not allowed to sit for the test.

omg dhiya..
what the hell is wrong with you??
are you out of your mind??!
cheyy. macam paham..
khkhk.

well, i thought i was gonna make it
by 5 mins before 11am..
but then i realized, i will never be the only human
late for class because when i reached the
bus station, there was a fucking! long line
of RP students. suckers.
thanks to them i missed a bus
and received a call from sally.
hhahaa.

alright.
in order to be early tomorrow
i must quickly do my revision,
sleep early and .. ? have a nice dream?.
what the fuck dhiya, too much science in your head is it?
-.-"

oh! shit. i missed Arsenal's match with Celtic!
damn it.

2009-08-18T08:31:00.009+08:00

HUNGER ALERT!!

my tummy is growling at (check the time and date above).
omg. i'm craving for nutrisoy
and half of a chicken sandwich!
yes..it is called the half of a chicken sandwich.
why? because!...it is cut into two and they sell half of it
at half a price.. (laughing my ass off. then..)
but! its a 3 pieces of bread,
with chicken, mayonaise and cheeeese!!
*growl. oops.
*cheeks turn red.
hahaah.

ok. i'm entertaining myself. -.-

2009-08-15T12:54:00.013+08:00

i read her post and heard her sayings.
i reflect it to myself and i realize,
i am such a hypocrite.

i observe others' personalities and their bad habits,
thinking because by doing that, i can be a better person.
come to think of it, i was just comparing myself with them,
competing to know whose a better person!

ouch. this is humiliating, the truth.

in a way,
this can be a positive thing.
everyday, we improve to become a better person.
but this also makes me judgemental.
tsktsktsk.
one thing to say, i'm just a human being..
nobody's perfect.. i'm not the only one anyway..
excuses!
if this is the kind of attitude you have,
you'll never change!

why look at people's imperfections,
when their good deeds are better appreciated?
(not that i don't, i do)
why focus on their bad habits,
when i am no different than them?
(somehow there is a diference), however!
the fact is that, i just love to know that
there're others who are worst than me.
it somehow makes me feel better but
the more i eye on
their bad side, the more
i tend to follow those steps
and that! makes me worse as a person.

let's make this a lesson learnt
and practice a new habit...
be optimistic with our differences
be inspired by their good acts
be respectful to each others' personal attitudes
with this, there'll be more happy, respectful
and confident people ((:

and it all start with
the lady in the mirror..

*inspired from a friend of mine

2009-08-11T22:55:00.002+08:00

guess what Koh-man?
i got a B for Math!! see!
who said sleeping and not doing anything
won't help in my learning??
anyway, i was not sleeping,
it is call resting the eyes..
and! i did contribute ok!
stupid.

had a friendly match with Jodi,
the score was 3-1,
obviously Jodi was leading
but i was coming back seyy! shit.
then the rain came pouring down like nobody's business.

then we did physical training for a few minutes
while waiting for the rain to stop.
waah! my coordination, very the chalat.
but still went ok (=

omg.
this maggie is freaking damn hot.

2009-08-09T15:19:00.001+08:00

booked the house,
called the agent,
we're moving out..

didnt really expect this to happen..
for the better or worse?

Happy INDEPENDENCE Day SINGAPORE!

2009-08-04T11:35:00.009+08:00

was walking out from the South canteen
as i saw myself in the glass' reflection
(shit. another bad hair day).
and through that reflected glass,
saw a guy.
our eyes met.
i smiled, he waved,
i waved back..
he smiled back.

khakhka!
that was fast?? hee.

shit! i got a D for math.
that ol' booger.

2009-07-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

butterflies and dragonflies,
and the sweet smell of Secret Garden are gone now.
focusing on what's more important!
*smile smile

tennis has not been going well.
my forehand and backhand are not
cooperating with me.
i just want consistency and improvement
in every training and i'm not getting that.
irritating. annoying and its pissing me off.

hmm..
something's missing?.
1 month 4 days left.

2009-07-22T13:03:00.003+08:00

hate my math faci.
this annoying, irritating,
no life faci. hate him to another level.

2009-07-21T14:48:00.006+08:00

they say i'm weird.
am i weird?
i mean, the word weird is a little exaggerating
don't you think?
even if you meant it differently like,
weird in a good way.
why not use different and unique for a change?
my friends, these words exist for a reason you know.
*smile smile

people come in different shapes and sizes
grew up with a unique mind and personality.
because of these differences we are being labelled
and some, have been defined as weird.

funny. i read the definitions of weird
and not one is referred to me.
these are the 3 definitions found from the encarta dictionary
1) odd: strange or unusual
2) supernatural: belonging to or suggesting the supernatural
3) of fate: relating to or influenced by fate
please do tell me if you feel that i'm one of those..

cus i want to know, does talking about politicians weird?
does sharing a piece of information that is knowledgable weird?

however still,
if i were to be weird for being who i am,
i've nothing against it anyway.
khkhk.

and oh.
does the news about Michael's death sound funny to you?

2009-07-15T12:13:00.005+08:00

i allowed those words to well up my eyes
with tears..

how did it happen?
everything went just fine.
i was gaining my confidence back!
there's just someone isn't there?
someone or.. something that pops out of nowhere
to pull our morale down like nobody's business.
stupid.

i wont let it happen again.
my heart may be weak..
but mentally, i'm determine.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by..

2009-07-09T00:08:00.004+08:00

The Arrivals (Noreagaa Productions) and
the Divine Book (Wake Up Project).
i had been keeping up with this two videos
for their creative and truthful documentaries.

it totally shut me up thoughout the whole videos,
as the shocking truths were uncovered.
these videos are to bring awareness to all the people
about what have been going on behind these so called politicians.

it is also about to bring all people from different religion
to find our common ground and stand as one for what's to come.

the history is going to repeat itself
in the coming years, if people have yet to realize it.
having doubts about Obama.

i got to admit, i fell for the deceptions.

Michael J.,
though you left, you will always be in our hearts
where you will always be remembered.
the message of your songs, will we bring it with us wherever we are
to start giving, to make a brighter day.
you're a true artiste who sang those words from your heart,
and a true inspiration to us all.

hopes. betrayal.

2009-07-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

I head banged almost throughout the whole lesson.
My eyes could not take it anymore.
My eyelids kept falling shut whenever i tried to open them up.

And that small boy is really annoying.
Stop calling me premature man! Immature.

After school, i met mama at JP.
i was suppose to see my grandmama right after school
but mother insist of meeting her first, then we were to go together
but remembering that rahmanie was alone at home, hungry
and myself practically dragging my feet around JP,
we decided to cancel today’s visit (lagi. Sigh.).
so, i’m going tomorrow with dear cuzzy, shaz. Wee!

Oh. He finally updated it.

And i cant stop thinking of him.
i'm so in my own world right now.

2009-06-30T21:32:00.004+08:00

went to Jurong Point
with wan and aini to watch
TRANSFORMERS robot in disguise. TWO!!
love it. funnier and lots! of actions.

and oh!
HE anwered my prayer,
which was to see him somewhere
and guess what?? i did saw him,
with her.

her! ... her.
i know her.

questions:
girlfriend? friend?
or are they still dating?

2009-06-30T01:32:00.004+08:00

i cant do this anymore!

no dhiya. you can.
just take a deep breathe,
count to ten
and keep yourself busy.
confirm ok nyerr!

2009-06-25T14:58:00.008+08:00

i couldn't believe i made the stupidest nick out of my name.
what's wrong with YOUR name?? you've been given
such beautiful unique name and you made fun of it by changing
it into something that sounds so stupid and weird.
what the hell is wrong with you??

so, i'm turning 18 in what? 2months 9days,
and i feel of having a companion (is it an 18 thing?)
a companion, who needs me as much as i need him.
well, all i need is a listening ear, and a comfort hug,
but to whom i wish to be with,
i would love to fulfill that need you have been yearning for
because i know you're someone worth giving to.

cant i just tell him who i am??
NO.

2009-06-25T00:18:00.003+08:00

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we 're truly live life. -Greg Anderson

hmm. think about it,
are we truly?

2009-06-22T10:36:00.008+08:00

i was sitting at the back of the car
when a thought crossed my mind and i weeped silently.

i have been appreciating everything thats around me,
my mum, dad, nenek, atok, uncles and aunties,
cousins, best friends, friends, school, even nature..
basically everything.. but the two, who have been
with me through thick and thin, were never remembered in
my thank you list. i have never realize that these two, have played a huge part
in my life that when i imagine how life would be like without them,
it will be unpleasantly different and i wont be the person i am today.
somehow because of them, i aim to become a better person,
to be their role model, someone they will look up to.
and all this while, all i've been thinking is that they are a
pain in my ass. how could i say that??
shit dhiya. *wipe it off. wipe it off.
my sister was the one who always have my back.
always there to give me the positive notes.
supported me in everything i do.
and still here for me when i'm feeling love.
thanks nelly.
*wipe it off, wipe it off. shit.
and rahmanie, he may be the huge troublemaker
in the house, but as he went along, there're efforts from him
trying hard to be a good boy.
i actually notice that.

i love my two little elves.
*smile.smile.

and nelly, when you read this,
do not mention this to me.
later the feeling gone.
khakhakhah!

2009-06-19T01:34:00.003+08:00

he's totally the type of guy i expect him to be.
but what causes him to be the way he is was...
a newfound inspiration.

and oh. he's attach or atleast loving somebody already.
i'm over him. i didnt cry, that means i'm not yet in love.
khakhhakha! i couldnt believe i thought that i am.
sucker.

2009-06-18T13:26:00.002+08:00

everything seems to be so beautiful
now, but why am i feeling so afraid?

2009-06-16T17:13:00.001+08:00

i need brain booster.
i really need one.

i want the pics Laiha!

2009-06-08T01:07:00.002+08:00

I am so piss!
i'm so disappointed with myself,
..but then again, it has been two years
since i last experienced the feeling
and now i'm happy that i have it back!

shit. i'm smiling to myself.

2009-05-28T12:03:00.001+08:00

ooh. i feel so uncomfortable today,
too awkward. i cant wait for sch to be over.
quick. quick. quick.

tennis here i come!!

2009-05-22T14:29:00.003+08:00

do i talk like a pampered child?
someone said i manje.
shit.

nenek has been transfered
to bukit batok hospital
(no idea where that is).
this time anyone can visit her!
plus, she now able to move her body.
still cant open her eyes though.
its ok nenek. try.
we know how strong you are.

ooh! i'm so looking forward for the next training!!
the training was hell but its worth it.
shit. my leg is so stiff, i couldnt walk fast like i use too.

i miss mama.

2009-05-12T13:04:00.005+08:00

i got through!
i'm going for the next round!
yeah!.

on the down side,
nenek is not well.
the first time i saw her at the hospital,
she seemed to be sleeping so peacefully,
that the thought of death was erased from my mind.
as i looked at her, i said to myself,
"There's no way she's gonna go so soon.
She's alright. Nothing is wrong with her.
She is just having another episode.
She'll recover. She always does.
She's going to be just fine.

but she wasnt.
she was actually awake,
awake throughout the whole visits.
she can hear us.
she was attentively listening to our every word
of conversation with her.
i didnt know that till my aunt told us.

so the next visit,
i went and i saw a tear coming out
from her right eyelid.
i got scared, but not shown.
i held her hands and i felt her
tightening the touch. my eyes welled up.
i whispered to her to let her know
how much she means to me.

that day i was able to see
her pain which hurts me so much.
she was struggling to speak up,
to open her eyes and see again.
i know she's missing all of us,
that before she dies, she wants to see our faces
for the last time. but she's going to be ok.
she'll recover. oh god.

"Oh Allah,
whatever your plan is,
we'll accept whole-heartedly.
however, god, please.
we beg you to lessen her pain,
let her sleep in peace,
let her forgets the world and thinks only you.
please, Amiin."

2009-05-07T12:50:00.002+08:00

Wednesday evening,
at 7pm, i experienced the best thing of life!

i went for the hiphop audition ALONE!
khakha. i managed to carry my
shivering body and fear to TRCC.

omg. you have no idea how
nervous i was.
it was like the scariest day of my life.
i was on the verge of crying.
hmm. i've been on that verge eversince i entered RP.
damn it. embarrassing laa DHIYA!

the audition went well,
though i was alone, i had fun dancing.
i found out that dancing cheers me up.
I laugh and smile even though there was
no one to laugh and share about.
psycho. ketawe sendiri.

so, hopefully i get in.
hopefully, after the audition, altho i forgot steps
and making a fool of myself during the freestyling,
god. how embarrassing it was, they saw my energy
and love for dancing.

all the best dhiya!

2009-04-22T12:57:00.003+08:00

BPL Arsenal vs Liverpool
4 to 4.
it was their second half of the season and they have not won over
each other yet. not bad. Fabianski did well!
all hail to Andrei Arshavin!

ok. is that the only thing i can post about
on my blog? shit. math class was not how i expected.
its fucking CONFUSING. thank you very much.
stupid game. stupid game. stupid game.

2009-04-20T13:22:00.003+08:00

wee! i'm in class and i'm updating my blog!
kahkha. ok. i'm so the jakon uh.
well. today is my first day of school.
and the lessons are boring, but i'm getting a hang on it.
just the first day and we have to do presentations.
sucks. i stumbled across my words for the first.
(did i use the word right??)
malu big time uh!!

shit. we're going to do the next presentation now.
speak slowly and clearly, dhiya. take a deep breathe.

2009-04-19T11:13:00.002+08:00

shit.
the gunners are out from the FA Cup.
seriously, i will never watch soccer with mama again.
gosh. she really pissed me off uh!

next match,
21 April - BPL, vs Liverpool.

2009-04-12T13:16:00.003+08:00

AHAAA!!!
i had a fabulous night.
i'm glad i went.
we finally got a new picsa of the three of us!!
wee. love it.
will upload the pics soon.

pot didnt leave us a piece of cake!!

reach home at 4 am plus. khakh
so much of going home early.
sucker.
took the cab home and guess how much it cost me...
bloody 40 bucks laaa!!!!!!!!!!!
god. the east side will forever remind me of the 40 bucks.

chill at laiha's place awhile to watch her cyber boyfriend video.
cant remember his name though. khakah. he's hilarious laa.
anyways she ended up overnight-ing at my place after watching me doing late night chores
at 5am... weird huh. aiyaa. that runs in the family blood.
time is not the matter as long as you do the chores before your parents come home.

2009-04-10T12:55:00.002+08:00

wee! somebody's celebrating her birthday tomorrow!!
happy 18 vainpot!!!

2009-04-02T14:37:00.003+08:00

the most frustrating thing in the world,
is not to be able to do anything when comes to letting out one's anger.
it hits me much harder when a person who did wrong, leave without consequences.
all i can do is cursed and cursed with burning tears in my eyes,
which made me wonder, why the hell am i crying?? i'm angry!
i even wish he'll be gone, dead, as soon as possible.
after so much talking to myself and letting out my tentram to my reflection,
my senses came back. its because i care, and so freaking disappointed,
that i have to tie my hands together, and zip up.
i dun want to do anything worse that can hurt mama even further.
i've spanked him, warned him, and still he's doing it again.
but of course he's still a kid, and stupid.
he doesnt know what he's doing but god, after so many reminders and shoutings,
how can he not get it??? its like, either he's mental in the head or totally been switched by the nurse. hmmm. gosh, what if he's not my real brother?? what if my real brother is somewhere out there!! ok. back to the real world dhiya.
*sigh. this words are not spose to end this way but i got furious again as i went on, recalling what he said to mama. hmm i wonder how she's feeling.
its because i think i know how she felt, made me cry so hard.

of course, its partly my fault too.
i should've never been too hard on him.
oh god. patience dhiya. patience.
ooouh. my eyes is burning up again.

oh Allah,
please let him be another
abang budi's version.
amiin.

2009-04-01T18:29:00.005+08:00

oh god. please tell me you're pulling another prank on me.
today's April fool day after all.
oh,
HAPPY APRIL FOOL!

i cried today, in the little white room (khkh. the toilet).
cried really hard.
those burning tears just kept flowing.
from a tear by tear that rolled down my cheeks to a dashing, burning flow of tears.
my eyes were really red after that. its still hot in the eye.
god. i was angry over something really stupid.
i couldnt believe i let it affect me again, affecting me so badly.
i should be over it by now, i've promised myself.
i guess i didnt promise myself hard enough.
best word to deal with it, AVOID.

2009-03-17T19:10:00.000+08:00

hmm. everybody seems to be experiencing alot of ups and downs, while here i am moaning and grunting about my worst ever migraine. god. its aching again. and i'm not gonna eat anymore mee rebus. especially chef wan's version.

this time, i promise,
not to ever ever ever ever ever ever sleep late.
not to ever ever ever ever ever ever miss any meals.
not to ever ever ever ever ever ever set my eyes on tv too near and too long.

fuck, tonight's arsenal vs hull. FA quartefinal. at 3.40am!
not to mention BNP Paribas Open at 2 am till noon!.....
i'm watching it. pfft. so much of not sleeping late again.

2009-03-16T18:10:00.001+08:00

Liverpool vs Manchester United
4-1
ahhaahahahahahhhhahaahah!!!

2009-03-10T11:32:00.002+08:00

9 MARCH 2009,
most remembered and favourite day of the year.

the gathering was refreshing you guys!

2009-03-02T14:48:00.006+08:00

the crazy wild and the wisest one.
both of them are acts as my left and right arms.
one who somehow manage to lift my
cheeks up and filled me with craziness,
reminding me that no matter how bad my situation is,
i am lucky to be able to laugh and to be happy with my love ones.
one who always wake me up from my pretty little world,
to realize that life is hard and to get what i want
is through fights and patience no matter how 'ouch' it may sound,
that i must never be too complacent with what i have.

siti(VAINPOT), LAIHA,
you guys are the best thing i ever have,
even though i havent seen you, zulaiha yusoff, for a fucking long time,
and you, siti nurinda zainal, i dun care what you think of my little theory of my life,
but the both of you are the links to my growth.
i'm truly thankful and i love you guys!

*This is a random post. I just felt like typing out the reasons why they have been my best friends all this while.

2009-03-01T11:57:00.004+08:00

I've got 3 things to say:
1) i promise that this time i wont care or i'll go bonkers with thousands of no-answer questions with sleepless nights,

2) nobody knows the future, nobody knows what i'm capable of, nobody knows the amount of determination i have. anything can happen and i'm gonna take my shot,

and lastly, the
3rd) i just hate it when people have 2nd plan WHILE going out with me. it makes me feel isolated and the way i see it is rude. i would rather have ppl changing their minds BEFORE the outing.

*the last point is random but i think is necessary for people to know when having plans to go out with me and i'm not refering nor aginst anyone doing it.

2009-02-09T21:30:00.030+08:00

Outing with VAINPOTT

08 February 2009

yeah! open your mouth big big!

this fries is fattening. and tasteless!

see how much pot leave the food. euugh big time uh.
so never dine at the bbq chicken restaurant.

in Heeren's ladies room

snap! snap!

snap ,snap, and we missed the bus. -_-"

this was when we actually saw two pairs of legs in one cubicle.

what weird human beings doing in there?? psycho.

yep. there's more pics taken, but the com takes freaking long to upload.

i'm going to republic poly for aerospace avionics.

hopefully the course will turn out how i think it'll be.

2009-02-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

Feels like the world is closing on me
Feels like my dreams will never come to me
I keep on slippin, deeper into myself
And I’m scared, so scared

Why does it feel
That my mind is constantly trying to pull me down
I can’t seem to get away
Continuous mistakes I know I’ve made before
How long will I feel so out of place

"If you’re troubled
You just gotta let it go
If you’re worried
You just gotta let it go
All your hustles ain’t for nothing
You just gotta take it slow
When you need me
All you do is let me know"
-Alicia Keys

oh Allah,
whatever plans You have for me,
please help me see its for the best,
Amiin.

2009-01-14T22:19:00.003+08:00

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
- Thomas Edison
I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occassions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot . . . and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why . . . I succeed.
- Michael Jordon
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison
I never thought of losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
- Muhammad Ali
Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.
- Vincent Van Gogh

The words from our successors who had failed, not a couple of times, but countlessly. I hope these phrases will remind us of what failure means other than falling but a means of rising to be even better in everything we do. As we say, failure is just the beginning of success.